Tuesday, February 17, 2009

@_@ Must obey the will of Jeeebus...

Now available! My new book 'Speechless...Silencing The Christians'
[Yet another dumbass email I got from FAMBLA... my snarks in evil red brackets as always]

February 16, 2009

Dear Stumbly,

You’ve seen the TV show [I have?] and have perhaps purchased DVDs of Speechless: Silencing the Christians, [I did?] a documentary series co-produced by the Inspiration Networks and the American Family Association. [@_@ I will obey @_@] Now you can get my book which has just been released to you, my friends, and to Christian bookstores and secular markets as well. [@_@ Yes my master who tells me what to think and how to live @_@ I will do as Pastoolioh commands me @_@]

My purpose in writing the book is to make people aware [Aware? You? In a book with a foreward by Ann fucking Coulter? Wouldn't that be like me writing a how-to book on dieting with a foreward by Ted Kennedy? @_@ Pastoolioh does not like me making jokes like that @_@] that Christians are being silenced all across America: [@_@ Yes... they are being silenced all across America @_@ That is a bad thing @_@] in the political debate, the public square, the schools, the workplace, and even in the sanctuary of their own churches. [@_@ Yes, we must protect the sanctity of churches, but not of the rights of homosexuals... I obey... @_@] You’ll find accounts by Christians all over the United States that were never (and probably never will be) covered by main stream media. [As opposed to the bashings and beatings and murders of gays and lesbians by people who hate them not making the airwa-I obey Pastoolioh... @_@]

I have a two-fold purpose in this message as well. First, I’d like for AFA supporters to be able to receive my book for a donation of $24.95. [@_@ I will give more money to Jebus @_@] Secondly, I’d like for you to help AFA get the word out about this book. [@_@ Everybody, there's a new book... Ann Coulter did a foreward for it... no, really, buy it anyway... @_@] I am including a printable flyer for you to take, [@_@ I will take it, but I can't get it to come out of the screen and into my hand @_@] not only to your local Christian book store, but to secular book stores as well [@_@ But master, stepping into non-christian book stores will make my feet melt @_@] and asked them to please stock this book. [And asked them? Heh heh... @_@ I'm sorry, Pastoolioh @_@] It is my hope and prayer that the information in my book will inspire more and more people to join the fight to keep Christian voices strong in our darkening culture. [And it is my hope and prayer that your marching orders are laughed at by people everywhere, just as I'm laughing at them.]

[Because Pastoolioh doesn't work on me, bitch.]