Thursday, June 25, 2009

I'm going straight to hell

Look, I'm just gonna have to make a list... of all the mean and evil jokes that I came up with since haring about his death... and you can blame a LOT of this on roommates. When I stop, they start, and then it just starts all up again.

Okay, here goes:

  1. Michael are you okay? Are you okay? Are you okay, Michael?
  2. Can he have his 72 virgin boys now, or did he have to blow something up for that?
  3. Wonder if Angelina gets to keep his kids?
  4. R.I.P... easy as 1 2 3...
  5. Quick, find Latoyah! If she's still alive, we can finally know for sure...
  6. He just had to steal Farrah's thunder, didn't he?
  7. They had to rush him to the children's hospital so he could donate his organ. (6 and 7 both came from darth_lols)
  8. Billy Jean is not his undertaker.
  9. Who's dead?
  10. What's the difference between Disney films and Michael Jackson? Disney films can still touch kids. (This one comes from john_mark_karr)
  11. Live fast, die young, leave a... well, 2 out of 3 ain't bad. (from kelticthegreat, and nobody got the joke except a couple of us)
  12. There goes the best lover a Presley ever pretended to have.
  13. Madonna said it best when he called her a cow for no provoked reason, and she replied by calling him a "buttfucking alien drag queen."
  14. Roomie told me that I'd better hope I don't end up in the same place as Michael after all the jokes I've made, and I replied by saying, "You're damned right about that. An eternity of having to hear him go HEEE-hee would make me crazy."
  15. The Beatles' rights are back where they belong. Long live the real king!
  16. Michael arrived at the pearly gates but Elvis was there. Waiting. With a really big stick.
  17. You know, LJ's omg_too_soon community is having a field day with this, but if they had existed back in Elvis' death, I'd totally have been there. And I'd have posted. Mostly about how Elvis was TCBF... Taking Care of Business in a Flush.
  18. And just like with JFK... people will be asking, Where were you when... except many of us will be adding to the end of that ...you realized you didn't care.
  19. If you think anything I've posted is mean or sick, try Ray Comfort's post about how many people die and go to hell all the time, so you better give it over to Jesus. Nothing I've said here is in nearly as bad-taste as that. Believe me. All we need now is for Phelps to try to put a plaque up for him.
  20. Do I mourn him by wearing one black glove?
But overall, I think he was a tragic figure of the highest proportions. I know he was a badly abused child in a crazy world. I also know that he did stuff I just can't not be creeped out by, and I grew very very very tired of his drama-cycle... album's about to come out, do some creepy-weird-shit that'll end up on front-page news, then put out the album about how the press just won't leave you alone. Sigh... it just got super-annoying to me, and it opened up a whirlpool of publicity so that your darkest closet would end up opened.

If there's anything after this life, I really hope he finds more peace in it.