Sunday, August 16, 2009

Imagine that! Christians listen to Bull

I see that I'm gonna have to do a little red-letter heckling of this pathetic onenewsnow story where the anti-gay Christian agenda is now whining to other countries about how eeeeeeevil us meanie gays are to poor poor them here in Amurika. See the story here so you can see I'm not making any of this up:

Christians face continual threat of homosexual agenda

homosexual flagMembers meeting in Amsterdam at the World Congress of Families [There's a world congress of these people?] have heard about the homosexual legal agenda's threat to religious liberty as a part of its drive toward same-sex "marriage." [No. Seriously. A world congress? What do we call you? The UB... United Bigots?]

The comments came from attorney Ben Bull of the Alliance Defense Fund. [And you know these people just love to listen to Bull.] He warned it is common for Christians and pastors to suffer at the hands of homosexual activists [*whipslash!* Who's your daddy, bitch? If you call that suffering, then yes, lots of pastors do like suffering at our... ahem... hands... just ask Haggard.], simply for abiding by biblical principles [Yeah. Poor poor you, just minding your own business, right?]. "One of the things that the leaders of the homosexual legal agenda have been saying for years is that whenever religious freedom or the free-speech rights of Christians interferes with their agenda, that their agenda trumps," he pointed out to conference attendees. [Our agenda being, of course, forcing everyone on planet earth to either listen to, or dress like, Lady Gaga.]

Ben Bull (ADF)Bull called it a clear and present danger. [And when Bull talks, Christians listen.] "There's a freight train coming [full of sex toys] and it's heading right towards Christians [so we should've stocked lions instead], and it's called the homosexual legal agenda [also known as Constitutional rights for non-Christians] -- and it will run right over our constitutional rights [of using our religion to run over everyone else's constitutional rights] unless we're heard loud and clear," [We've heard you. We just don't buy your Bull.] he added.

Homosexual activists, Bull explained, have used the courts [who are more likely to enforce the constitutional ideal of equality for all rather than a mob-rules popular vote when the public tend to swing unfairly against a minority...] rather than elections to consistently gain ground. [...because our constitution was designed to prevent the majority from railroading the rights of a minority, but I guess I should believe Bull instead. It's apparently what Jebus would do.]

Now that was a lot of Bull.