Thursday, April 21, 2011

WTF is "Stumbling Block" supposed to mean anyway, you crazy fuck?

Okay, I guess the first thing you're wondering is why the hell I call myself the Stumbling Block. If you do a search for this you'll no doubt find yourself in a wonderland of fundamentalist Christian sources, and that probably baffles you more. You're thinking, wait, you like picking on bible shit, and are confused. You'd be right to think this is ironic. It's intentional irony, in fact.

I'll explain it, and my evil nature, as briefly as I know how.

Truth is, I'm not a believer in that bible, but unlike so many accusations by fundies who hear me say that, it is not because I don't know what's in the book. In fact, like so many who come to cease belief in that weird, archaic tome, it's because we do know what's in it, and have researched a lot more than just John 3:16 and the tingly feeling it gives these sheeple in their nether regions. And when we see what's in the book enacted in bizarre and fucked up ways in the believers, we can't help but want to run away from belief.

I ran from my crazy cult... I mean, church... back in 1996 and never looked back, with no fear of eternal hellfires or even a twinge of guilt. Mostly because my studies made me realize that, were the bible of any merit at all in prophecy shit (which it's not, and neither is anything else for that matter) and were those supposedly fulfilled prophecies ever to repeat themselves in our time, the safest place you can be is at home as a drunken, buttfucking atheist. You see kids, in Jesus' time, which was a real time in history even if he wasn't a real person, what was being predicted by the authors of this fucked up "faith" thing is simply this: the chosen people had fucked up the purpose of being chosen so badly that they have the very worst judgment coming onto them. And the verse that shows this is found... yeah I know, you don't wanna read biblical shit, but I just wanna show you this one part... the verse is in chapter 9 of Romans:

30 What then shall we say? That the Gentiles, who did not pursue righteousness, have obtained it, a righteousness that is by faith; 31 but the people of Israel, who pursued the law as the way of righteousness, have not attained their goal. 32 Why not? Because they pursued it not by faith but as if it were by works. They stumbled over the stumbling stone. 33 As it is written:
   “See, I lay in Zion a stone that causes people to stumble
   and a rock that makes them fall,
   and the one who believes in him will never be put to shame.

In case you didn't get it, that "stone" that causes men to stumble was supposed to be that Jesus guy. You know, that man we're all supposed to aspire to be like, who was supposed to be so humble. Despite the fact the guy said that he was supposed to have the only way to the Father, or the only right way to live. I'm sorry, but that's the most arrogant thing any asshole can ever say. If you're dumb enough to buy that shit and follow someone like that, go ahead, but many many many Christians now interpret that differently and are right to do so, realizing that scripture isn't so fucking flawless after all. They're what the Bishop John Shelby Spong call "believers in exile", who simply want no part in what this religion has done to the world. And then there's those like me who say fuck Christianity all together. I have better chances NOT  being one of those people, really.

See, the newly formed Christian movement was making this claim that the holy people of their day, who they deemed undeserving and hypocritical, were going to lose the salvation they think was only theirs, and it was to be given to the very people (Gentiles) that the chosen, holy-fuckers considered undeserving and beneath them. It was a way of beating the holy people with their own tactic of self-righteousness, except saying that instead the lowest of the low were worthier. The ultimate insult.

And well, I consider it all bullshit. But imagine that this had any prophetic truth to it whatsoever. There is a God, Jesus is his son, and Eve really is the stupidest bitch in history upon whom we are to blame everything. You know, like fundies and Catholics and so many more Christ-baggers like to believe. And there really is going to be a second coming. Imagine it happens all over again, only this time he comes down, hangs out with the faggots and the atheists and the liberals and the abortionists and so on and so forth, while he shuns the church-goers and ridicules them as having "stumbled over the stumbling stone" by their holier-than-thou judgmental attitude towards others.

Besides this golden gem, when I was first "falling away" from my fucked up cult church, and when it was clear I had no interest in "making disciples of Jesus" out of others, they liked showing me this verse:

“Whoever is not with me is against me, and whoever does not gather with me scatters."

So in other words, if I am not going to be one of them, I might as well be the most evil motherfucking sonofabitch who has gay anal knock-down sex and kicks puppies and scatters people straight to this thing they call hell. I figured, well alrighty then!, since it was clear that the best thing I can do for people is to get them away from the most damned place anybody could be: those who do a miserable excuse of a job of representing a god of love. 

I vowed to be everything they stumble over, because I found truth in all of it: evolutionary theory, homosexual equality, the true need for a crumbling world weighted down by hatred to find liberal values, and the need to abort as many brats as fucking possible.

I am the Stumbling Block. Koo koo katchoo. I don't want your money, and I don't want your belief in me in any way shape or form. You need follow no savior, since there's nothing to be saved from in the first place. Except the shame in yourself that you shouldn't have to have had in the first place, that is ingrained in you from birth to trick you into thinking you have this hole in you that needs some higher salvation power. You don't need saved. Just be you. You'll find your human nature is not the demon-ridden hell hole they claim it to be, and that that very shame, persecution, holier-than-thou vibe that dominates the world's thought in fact is the only thing that makes life horrible. You can save yourself from your own beauty, or you can embrace everything you think is of the devil and realize the Creator, if there is one, didn't make the mistake. You're not damned from some twat eating an apple, and you don't have to be afraid that there's some angel hovering over your shoulder documenting your every foible, no judgment day by which you'll have to answer to some judgmental bastard of a god for every time you answered the call of nature and squeezed off a load to some hot, steamy porn. Fuck that. Live it up!
The witch burning times are over. We have the fossils, so evolution wins. Grab your coathangers and let's go abort some unneeded screaming fetuses everyone, because it's time we fill this world with truth, loudly enough to drown out the stupidity that infests it now. And while we're doing that, please remember to say the word "PENIS" every chance you get.

What can be expected on this blog? A lot of that, a lot of personal thoughts and thoughts I doubt should be shared by any sane person to the entire world (which is why it's a job for me), and just pure evil. My boyfriend and I doing wacky shit, our exploits in naughtiness, my rants about religious dumbassity, and yes, I'll even throw in a bible study every now and then, just so you can know how fucked up that book really is.

So stick around. This is going to get wacky.

Penis.