Tuesday, June 28, 2011

FAMBLA's response to New York... is to pray. I was afraid they were actually gonna do something.

I've not done a red-letter version of an AFA (Absolute Fascist Assholes) emailing in quite some time, so it's long overdue. As it used to be, and as is proper for prophets like me, the red letters are my own heckling comments...

TheMagical Voodoo Jesus-Power Response: a national call for prayer for a nation we desperately want to convince is in crisis


Houston – Reliant Stadium – Saturday, August 6

Attend this historic event! Bring a live chicken! This is not a political event. It's an event where we're... uh... making origami... yeah, that's the ticket! It is a prayer event. No candidate will speak. Just preachers. Telling you how to vote. That's not politics or anything.

June 27, 2011

Dear Ray,


FAMBLA's goal is to fill the 62,000-seat Reliant Stadium on August 6.

FAMBLA is encouraging Christians across the nation to join in a national day of prayer for our nation. Gov. Rick Perry of Texas has completely violated church/state separation and proclaimed Saturday, Aug. 6th, as a Day of Prayer and Fasting, and sacrificing your first born
to seek God's guidance and wisdom in addressing the challenges that face our communities, states and nation, and then ignoring all common sense by pretending He's answering us exactly with the same bigoted views we already have.  He has invited governors across the country to join him in this Constitutional violation on Aug. 6 to participate in The Big Magical Lack of an Actual Response, a non-denominational, apolitical, Christian prayer meeting hosted by the American Family Association at the 62,000-seat Reliant Stadium in Houston. Gov. Perry also urged fellow governors
to issue similar proclamations encouraging their constituents to pray for unity against the gays, and self-righteousness for our states, nation, and straight, white, rich mankind on that day.  

PRETEND LIKE YOU'RE TAKING ACTION

(churches and lockstep brainwashed individuals).
Plan your trip
As in, tripping balls.
Spread the Word
- Use these resources to invite your church, friends, and community, and anybody else you don't mind laughing at, ignoring, or taking restraining orders out on you, to The Super-Dee-Duper Magical Voodoo Response. Share the propagan... er... the promotional video via Facebook, your personal site or blog; post the website on Facebook; tweet about the event and encourage others to go; download the misinformation packet that contains the who, what, where, when, why, omg, wtf, bbq, roflmao, of The Sparkly Magically Delicious Pretend Response to share with your church leaders; print the bulletin insert/flyer for your church bulletin; download the power point presentation slide; and more. Because Jesus doesn't think you're a fanatic for doing all that shit at all. He thinks you're lukewarm and will send you to hell if you don't!
Learn more
about The Fabulous Responsecapades on ICE!.
Can't go to Houston? Would rather disembowel yourself with a dull butter knife? Ask your pastor to organize a Delusional Response prayer event in your community (even though community action is Communist and makes the baby Jesus cry). Invite other churches to join in the local event. Pray for The Magically Delicious Pretend Response at home because nothing makes pretending to take action more powerful than pretending to take action to make more pretend power for people pretending to take action!

We have limited funds to promote The Response because we spend most of it on our suits, cars and hookers. Please help us by forwarding this letter to your family and friends.   

Sincerely, (There is nothing sincere about you...)

Tim

Tim Wildmon, PresidentFascist Assholes Mudslinging Bullshit & Lies in America
Yes sir... they're responding by... getting on their knees... and whining to their imaginary friend. Let 'em. While they're doing that, we'll be doing something that actually helps people in need. By giving people equality who deserve it. And all that other stuff that Jesus said they should be doing. Like giving a shit about the community. 

And laughing at them, of course.