Thursday, November 21, 2013

Thus spaketh the prophet:

Here's a fact about me that you probably don't know. I've had in my entire lifetime only two birthday parties, both very recent. The first one was a birthday party for about four or five people at the same time, so it wasn't just for me. Because my roommate kept hitting on the guy I was dating and making him uncomfortable, I had to ask him to stop, which made him slap me, while also feeling extremely awkward because the guy I was dating, in his incredible desperation for someone, and unbearable insecurity, got me about eight gifts, and probably spent a couple hundred bucks on them. Felt very awkward. The second one, with the same guy only by now I'd moved to Louisville to be with him because I'm that big of an idiot, proved even more awkward. We'd gone through a number of jealousy-induced situations and it became clear that because he couldn't handle it, I couldn't do anything with anybody else, but because I can, he was able to do whatever he wanted. Yeah, I was punished for his bullshit. So basically I felt compelled to keep my hands to myself so that nothing would happen, while he took someone to our room and made me almost want to melt him with laserbeams from my angry eyes. Just sparked by the "something about me" memes, and the fact the birthday party episode of Big Bang Theory just came on, and it turned out Leonard never had one either.